Tag Archives: suffering

Death

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On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words. When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. (Luke 24:1-9)

This past Palm Sunday, as many Christians took up olive branches and went out into the streets, a spirit passed out of its mortal flesh and away from this life.

She wasn’t tall. Her body was petite but her laugh was very clear and resounding, so you never had to worry about how to find her in a large crowd. She had a blunt personality. If you said something wrong, she would be sure to loudly correct you right away. If she was angry she would loudly announce her dissatisfaction. She was a simple yet sensitive person. Her hair and her eyebrows were jet-black which contrasted with her fair skin. She had a set of piercing, pitch-black eyes and she could speak with those eyes. One look into her eyes and you could tell exactly what she was thinking, whether she was sad or perplexed or perhaps just joking with you. The very first time I saw her I said to her, “You’re so beautiful!” She replied, “Me? No, I’m not.” She never discovered how truly beautiful she was.

Those beautiful eyes closed in the midst of charcoal fumes, closed forever. I think she was so selfish. How could she decide it was her time to go? How could she leave behind those of us that loved her? But none of us can understand the pain she carried. None of us can judge. We only know that her fear of living was greater than her dread of death. People had scheduled meals together with her, but whether or not those meals will happen, that we must leave up to the Supreme Judge for an answer.

At her memorial service on the morning of April 15th, I thought about what happened to her lively spirit, fun-loving yet full of hurt and suffering. What happened to it? As I watched her body being pushed into the little room my own spirit felt heavy. The spirit. It’s a heavy thing, unique and precious. How can we bear something so heavy?

I thought of a Body with a spirit inside which carried the weight of all things and all time on the day that heaven and earth were changed…it must have been extremely heavy. Exhausted, parched, misunderstood; He seemed to be voluntarily moving, slowly but steadily, towards His own death. One step, one fall, one lash of the whip, one tear, one nail, one sigh…the end. His eyes, closed forever. People moved His body but they knew He wasn’t inside anymore. The next day they knew He was gone, remaining only in memory.

But then I saw, on the day after that, His eyes opened forever. He is the only one able to bear the heavy weight of the spirit, and without one broken bone!  He is the only one who has experienced death and yet the poisonous, evil power of death could not harm Him! My friend’s coffin bears the weight of her corpse, sad and decaying, but Jesus’ grave is empty! “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” (Luke 24:5b) We no longer need to be a witness to death in this dark world. We just ask that when He walks with us and guides us we will be able to recognize when He comes. (Luke 24:13-34)

Some say that the situation Christians are in now is like the Saturday of the first Easter weekend. Jesus has already died on Friday and Sunday is on its way when we’ll get to see Jesus’ resurrection manifest before our eyes. Even though we’re in this “already but no yet” stage, we still need to encourage each other and remind each other not to forget our true hope. To put it simply, even though we still need to go to work, even though we can’t skip class, even though our heads might still hurt, we still should be reminding each other of God’s love, remembering Jesus in daily life, talking with Jesus, loving Him and receiving His tender care. Remember, He came to put an end to the anguish of suffering. He came to put Death to death. He came so that one day His people can be reunited with His beloved Father. Together. Sitting down for the feast that we have longed for for so long.

My friend is gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again, but I know my Jesus is still alive. He knows all things and He’s in charge of all things.

 

Death, be not proud

by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

 

What God’s Will Isn’t

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Photo Credit: www.flickr.com/photos/archetypefotografie/

Recently there are so many decisions I have to make. I’m seeking for God’s guidance on my service at church and the future plan after I graduate college next year. I really want to know what God wants me to do also His plan for me. How do you pray and what do you do when you are seeking God’s guidance and hoping to get clear signs? —a former VOICE student

This is an excellent question, namely because you’re crossing from making your own decisions to wanting to know what God wants for your life. If this is where you are, congratulations on making a very big first step. The subject of God’s will is incredibly broad, so I will only tackle a tiny aspect here…

God’s will is not like GPS. He does not list out all of the steps to our final destination. He does not (usually) give us step-by-step instructions on how to get there (“Go to this school.” “Date this person.” “Accept this job offer.”). He does not warn us about construction or traffic jams ahead. If this is what you’re looking for in God’s will, you’re not looking for the right thing. Seeking God’s will is actually more like knocking on doors. You may have absolutely no idea who or what lies on the other side. Or you may think you know and then find out it’s not at all what you thought. Whatever the case may be, your only responsibility is to knock and then enter when a door opens.

God’s will is not a safeguard against suffering. I once thought that if I just followed Jesus carefully, my life would (only) be blessed (read: safe, secure, and successful). If something went wrong, I must have screwed up somewhere along the way. I have since learned that while I do feel blessed, that does not mean that everything always goes well. In fact, I often feel more insecure following God, because He’s pinpointing all my false securities and tearing them down. That is exactly why He is my Savior—He is destroying all the things I trust in that can’t save me.

God’s will is not about your life. It’s important to seek God’s will for the big (and little) decisions in your life—but keep in mind that this isn’t about your life. It’s about the story He’s writing for the world. And because it’s His story, He cares infinitely more than you do about your part in it.

And lastly, God’s will is more about the journey than about the destination. Of course, God cares about whom we marry and what we do with our lives, but this whole issue of seeking His will is actually about learning to trust Him one step at a time. It’s about letting Him expose our hidden fears by taking us places we don’t want to go. It’s about resting in Him when our pressures are too great for us to handle. It’s about learning who this God is that we (thought we) decided to follow. Someday, we will arrive at the Final Destination and see Him face to face, but for now, living life is about knowing Him, and that is what following Christ is all about.

“And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

Three Little Kittens

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This is a story of three little kittens.

Once upon a time, my brothers found some kittens in our backyard. They brought them inside, not realizing it was a death sentence for the little creatures who were only a few days old. We put them back out, but the mother cat never returned to feed the kittens. It’s quite normal for a mother cat to abkittensandon her children if they are touched by humans.
After a day or so, I felt badly for the kittens that would surely die and I brought them back inside and tried to feed them and find them a better home. It was awful. One of the worst experiences ever. They always cried, because they needed their mother and I was an inadequate replacement. It was so heartbreaking for me to watch those little creatures slowly die. I lost sleep trying to feed them and even when I was not in the house I could hear their cries.

It was haunting.

Eventually, there was only one kitten left and I finally found someone with much more experience to care for him. It took a long while to recover from this awful experience. And it took a long time not to hear the kittens’ cry.
One night, a few weeks later, I had a dream about those kittens. In this dream, there was Jesus holding them while they cried.
I awoke and realized why I had been so utterly devastated by the crying. The kittens didn’t cry alone. They cried along with me. While I was desperately trying to save those tiny creatures’ lives, my brother was in a hospital far away fighting for life. I was crying for God to save him, but I didn’t know if He would save him or not. I was helpless, like an abandoned child.

Yesterday, I saw a picture of a Syrian refugee offering up his small baby to be saved from an overloaded raft. The refugees were all crowded together, their faces stricken by hopelessness. They are crying, because they have no safe place, no refuge for their children. And their cry of desperation mixes with mine.

Years ago, I was in a baby orphanage in Romania. There were three rooms filled with beds and a baby in each. The babies had no mother, no one to pick them up when they cried. And though I was only there a few hours, the cries of those motherless children are still with me today.

The kittens, the babies, the refugees, and me. Our cries go up to heaven and beg for hope. And there is Jesus, holding the dying kitten, and somehow as I think on that, I realize that He holds my heart too. And that’s enough.

 See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god beside me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand. ~Deuteronomy 32:39

Where is God in this?

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Rural Fire

Yesterday, on Christmas, my brother was called to help fight a fire. Tomorrow, I will be a pallbearer in a funeral. These events remind me that Christmas is not always a happy time. Sometimes Christmas can seem more like a tragedy than good news and great joy.

This holiday season there are many people hurting across the globe. People are suffering in much of the Middle East, France, and parts of Africa, as well as some areas of the US.  They are suffering from or grieving loss of life and the horror of terrorist attacks, deranged shootings, racial unrest, or other difficult situations. These anguishing experiences bring out this question – Where is God in all of this?

The beginning of the answer is in the Christmas story. Come take a look. Mary had it tough. Her country was occupied by a cruel government, her pregnancy caused her to risk being killed by her own people, she had to give birth in a barn while travelling, and she had to flee to a foreign country with her young child to keep him from being murdered. Joseph, with the same residence issues, had to believe Mary and his dreams instead of his own eyes which told him that he was not being played as a fool by a cheating fiancée.

When we talk about pain in the story of Christmas, we must not forget that all of the other boys in the region two years of age and under were murdered. For the boys of Bethlehem, Christmas was a death sentence. For their mothers and fathers it was a time of unspeakable pain and sorrow.  Here is how Jeremiah described it as quoted by Matthew:

“A VOICE WAS HEARD IN RAMAH,
WEEPING AND GREAT MOURNING,
RACHEL WEEPING FOR HER CHILDREN;
AND SHE REFUSED TO BE COMFORTED,
BECAUSE THEY WERE NO MORE.”                                                                                   Matt.2.18 – NASB

Where was God in all that suffering? Here He is: Immanuel. Immanuel is one of the names given to Jesus, which means “God with us.” Immanuel means that in the middle of the cruel occupation, devastating fear, and widespread death, God was right there. Immanuel was experiencing it with them. Immanuel means that now, even in the middle of horrible circumstances, God is with us and knows how we suffer. Immanuel cares enough to not only experience the pain with us, but in our place endure greater pain. Immanuel means we have hope.

Immanuel is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us.

 

A Lesson in Mourning

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“A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth. 
It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. 
Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. 
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 
It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools. For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity.”
—Ecclesiastes 7:1-6

I imagine many of us are thinking something like this: “Okay, yes, a good reputation is valuable. I need to make sure I keep a clear conscience.” Some of us might even get all spiritual and think: “Wow, yeah, and since we are God’s people, we need to make sure we care about God’s reputation.”

But what’s this? The day of death is better than the day of birth? Yikes!

I’ve heard people teach on Ecclesiastes almost dismissively, kind of skipping ahead to the end where it says, “Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

Okay, what a relief, we can go on “fearing God” and doing the right thing. Good character, God’s plan for success in life.

But wait! “Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.”

The Bible is dripping blood and tears, echoing with the pain of human existence—Jeremiah, Lamentations, Psalms, Job.

In Romans 12, as part of his unpacking what it means to love, the Apostle Paul tells his readers, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Weep. Not encourage, not minister to, not instruct. Weep…with.

For those of you already reaching for your journal or making a mental note to “remember to weep with others,” please don’t.

It’s the difference between contemplating a cloud and being struck by lightning. You weep with someone when your heart is broken too. Maybe not in the same way, maybe not to the same extent, but broken.

And in those moments, when you don’t know, when you really can’t move, when “trusting God” seems like a cruel joke, in those moments, there is a kind of insight.

There is an earthiness, an embodiedness, to suffering. In Romans 8, Paul wrote, “For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.”

It cries out for meaning beyond pallid spiritual platitudes, beyond success formulas based on “biblical principles.” It cries out for redemption.

God does not call us to be good or be happy or eat healthy or succeed. He calls us and our suffering to Himself.

The Bible tells the stories of prophets thrown down wells, of babies put to the sword, of Jesus bloodied, tortured, crucified—a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, our grief.

The Bible tells us we are loved.

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” —Matthew 5:4

another face of humility

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imageThere’s a lot to be learned about humility. Right when I think that maybe I’m starting to get it…BAM. Pride smacks me in the face. Am I the only one who feels like trying to understand humility is like grasping for the wind?

But God has been teaching me humility in rather surprising ways. He’s been showing me that one face of humility is opening wide your hands and accepting with gratitude whatever God chooses to give. Not just the good things, but the hard, painful and disappointing things too.

Without going into all the ups and downs of life’s circumstances this year, I’ll just say this: I haven’t liked all of the things God has chosen to give me. I’ve thrown up a few fists and shouted “Why, God?” because deep down I’ve bought into the idea that I deserve better. I deserve to succeed, to live life pain-free, to be happy. I become the center and it’s here, here that ingratitude and pride squelches out joy.

Wasn’t ingratitude the problem from the beginning, from the Garden of Eden? Adam and Eve had everything and yet they let themselves believe that it wasn’t enough. They thought that they deserved better, and because they chose ingratitude, they were banished from the garden and broken off from communion with their Source of eternal joy and happiness.

Ingratitude. Pride. Fists in the air. “I deserve better.” This has been our story ever since that fateful day in the garden.

Thousands of years later, a better and more perfect Adam came, and it was He (Jesus) who lived the perfect life of gratitude to His Father, gave thanks over the Last Supper, and accepted the path of suffering that His Father had willed Him to endure. If anyone deserved better, it was Jesus. He wept, grieved, and He even asked “Why?” but then we see Him doing what Adam, Eve, and everyone since have failed to do. He completely trusted His Father’s love for Him and accepted the cup that was before Him, even though it meant losing His very life. He opened wide His hands to receive and because He did, we can now live and be restored to the only source that will bring us true joy.

Humility is opening our hands and accepting with thanksgiving whatever God chooses to give. Pride clutches it’s fist at troubles and let downs and says “I deserve better!” but humility sees everything – the good, the bad, and the painful – as given from an infinitely good and loving Father, Who loves better and more fully than we could ever imagine, and who uses even our troubles to prepare us “for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” [2 Corinthians 4:7]

Loving Fathers

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Merry Christmas!

2013 has been a year of dramatic change for me and my family. On June 7 my first son, Lewis, was born. Watching him grow and learn has been one of the greatest joys of my entire life. I could easily bore you with far too many tales of his exploits, but I’ll try not to…

Rowan & Lewis

Having a son has also opened up my eyes to new ways of understanding old truths of the Bible. I have always known that God is a father, but I only knew about one side of the father-child relationship. I always understood that Jesus was the Son of God, but I didn’t know what it was to be the father to a son.

Lewis is a dare devil. He is, as yet, unafraid of anything. He dives, lunges, crawls, topples, and bonks his way through every day, pleasantly unaware of all the near-pain experiences he has. Today he learned a new trick. As my wife and I were sitting on the floor with him he would pull himself up on us from sitting to standing and then let go, falling into our hands. He did this over and over for 20 minutes, slowly learning how to stand up, but still not capable of balancing on his own. Never once did he fall and hurt himself, because his mom and dad caught him every time.

This amazes me when I think about my Heavenly Father. Scripture says that God’s love for us is greater than a mother [or father] for her child. (Isaiah 49:15) I love my son enough that I will catch him when he [almost] falls off the couch or can’t quite balance on his own. Usually Lewis isn’t even aware that I’m hovering over him, alert to keep him safe.

God loves us enough that He promises, not to catch us every time, but to turn every situation for our good and blessing. (Romans 8:28) I don’t have a clue how this promise will work out for me or for you, but I do know that it cost Him deeply to fulfill it. The only way He could was to send His Son to Earth, to live a perfect life and to die in our place, as the Redeemer.

It grieves me that I cannot protect Lewis from pain or suffering, but I am so grateful that God would give His Son to care for mine!

Revive Me

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“God, I can’t make it today. Life’s too hard. I’m tired.”

Do you have those days? I’m not talking about just having a late night and not wanting to get out of bed. I’m talking about the kind of tired where you don’t know if you care to ever get out of bed—the kind of tired that sinks into your soul. Psalm 119:25a says, “My soul clings to the dust.” I’ve found myself identifying with this verse.

It wasn’t anything in particular that made life hard. It was simply, well, everything. All of life’s platitudes and helpful sayings hit me like a slap in the face. Each morning rushed upon me like a charging bull. I needed a way out of an endless cycle of hurt and self-pity. Praise God! He has given one—the Word.

I thought: “I’ve tried that. I’ve read the Bible. Tell me something new.” But, the amazing truth is my answer is not in some new thing that will magically solve all my problems. My answer, as a child of God, is within me. The Father, who gave His all to know me, lives inside me and IS the answer to everything. And if He is what I need, I must fill my life, my heart, my mind, my soul with the Word. “…and the Word was God.” (John 1:1)

All throughout the Word, we find the command to keep His commandments. “And this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:3). Keep means to hold on to something, to take care of it, to have it with you. Our Father knows our weaknesses and needs above anyone else. When the soul is laid low, the answer is still the same.

Do you feel like your feet are slipping and you are desperately grasping for something to stop your plummet? Cling to His Word. Read the Word. Memorize it. Talk about it. Fill your free time with it. At first, you may not notice a difference. I didn’t, but, slowly, something happened. In the end, my life hasn’t changed too much, but my heart has. Deep inside something has grown. It’s a flicker of hope.

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“My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to your Word.” ~Psalm 119:25

Why?

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OklahomaTornado.JPEG

Damage from a tornado in Moore, Oklahoma last month.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen to anybody? If God is good, why does He allow bad things in this world – sometimes terrible things?
Last month we had several very powerful tornadoes in our area. One of them came within one mile of our house. Thousands of houses were destroyed, billions of dollars of damage, hundreds of people injured, and more than fifty people killed. I attended the funeral of one of the victims whose father I knew. Hundreds of people were there…and amazingly, it was a hopeful, encouraging time. Everyone was supporting each other, seeking God together, reminding each other that God goes with us through our pain. God suffers when we suffer. And God brings good out of our suffering and His suffering.

I don’t know why God let the tornadoes happen – probably there are many reasons. Probably there are special reasons in the lives of each person who was affected. Some of God’s reasons might be difficult to accept if we knew them. But maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult if we saw how everything fits together.

The week after one of the storms, I was listening to a sermon on Sunday morning and noticed what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen. 50:20).

You know the story of Joseph, right? His brothers sold him as a slave into Egypt, where he was falsely accused of assault and imprisoned for three years. Because of that, he met the king’s wine taster. Because of that, he met the king and saved Egypt from a famine. Because of that, his own family moved to Egypt. Because of that, the family grew into a large nation: Israel. Because of that, the Egyptians hated them and they left Egypt and wandered in the wilderness for forty years. Because of their experiences in the wilderness and the Law that God gave them, they learned to trust God instead of themselves. Because of this, Israel was set on a path that would prepare them and even us to trust Jesus Christ. The evil done to Joseph was an integral part of the picture of God’s redemption of the world.

And this all began because Joseph’s brothers intended evil against him. Who fully understands God’s power to bring good out of evil? Certainly not me. But I think we can see glimpses of it at times, and those glimpses can help us to believe in bigger pictures like this one. This is part of living out God’s reality…in the middle of the reality around us. VOICE 2013 starts in less than a month and we’ll be talking about all kinds of stuff like this with more students and staff. See you there!

What has Jesus done for you?

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This past month I had the privilege to be part of the VOICE conference. As most of you know, sports activities at VOICE can be quite competitive at times. One afternoon at the Northwoods, I joined in a game of capture the flag. The game was going along rather well until I discovered I am not as fast or as coordinated as I previously imagined. This discovery was introduced to me through a full speed, literal head-on collision with a student. After crashing to the ground and rolling a few times, I eventually began to regain my senses enough to ensure I was in fact, still alive. As I lay on the ground watching the last few scenes of my life flash before my eyes, I prayed that the pain in my leg did not indicate a broken leg, and that my face was not bleeding too much. Thankfully, all that was required was a bandage and a few painkillers.

The next day or so, we had a church service in the tower. Going up that many stairs was a bit difficult as I tried to disguise the pain and act normal. As I sat in my chair, I was thinking about how much my body hurt, and frustrated at myself for not being able to avoid the collision. About that time, David L. began our worship service by reading Isa. 53:5 “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” When I heard that verse, the insignificance of my minor pains almost caused me to laugh at myself. At the same time, I had a tiny realization of the incredible physical and spiritual pain Jesus went through on the cross to pay the penalty required for my sins. The significance of Christ’s willing sacrifice out of love for me nearly brought me to tears. I had previously watched movies depicting the crucifixion of Jesus, read the Biblical account, and even heard testimony from medical professionals describing the intense physical pain Jesus went through on the cross, but at that moment the physical suffering of Jesus became real to me.

In living my life in a relationship with a real God, do my actions match my words? As imitators of Christ, we should be willing to love others the same way Jesus loved us. He was willing to suffer incomprehensible pain on my behalf, and yet I am often not willing to suffer embarrassment or rejection from others to stand for what I believe. This experience helped me to realize that nothing should hinder me from the responsibility I have of sharing the love of God with others that they too may know Jesus Christ personally.

Be bold to tell others what God has done in your life!