Tag Archives: Sorrow

Where is God in this?

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Rural Fire

Yesterday, on Christmas, my brother was called to help fight a fire. Tomorrow, I will be a pallbearer in a funeral. These events remind me that Christmas is not always a happy time. Sometimes Christmas can seem more like a tragedy than good news and great joy.

This holiday season there are many people hurting across the globe. People are suffering in much of the Middle East, France, and parts of Africa, as well as some areas of the US.  They are suffering from or grieving loss of life and the horror of terrorist attacks, deranged shootings, racial unrest, or other difficult situations. These anguishing experiences bring out this question – Where is God in all of this?

The beginning of the answer is in the Christmas story. Come take a look. Mary had it tough. Her country was occupied by a cruel government, her pregnancy caused her to risk being killed by her own people, she had to give birth in a barn while travelling, and she had to flee to a foreign country with her young child to keep him from being murdered. Joseph, with the same residence issues, had to believe Mary and his dreams instead of his own eyes which told him that he was not being played as a fool by a cheating fiancée.

When we talk about pain in the story of Christmas, we must not forget that all of the other boys in the region two years of age and under were murdered. For the boys of Bethlehem, Christmas was a death sentence. For their mothers and fathers it was a time of unspeakable pain and sorrow.  Here is how Jeremiah described it as quoted by Matthew:

“A VOICE WAS HEARD IN RAMAH,
WEEPING AND GREAT MOURNING,
RACHEL WEEPING FOR HER CHILDREN;
AND SHE REFUSED TO BE COMFORTED,
BECAUSE THEY WERE NO MORE.”                                                                                   Matt.2.18 – NASB

Where was God in all that suffering? Here He is: Immanuel. Immanuel is one of the names given to Jesus, which means “God with us.” Immanuel means that in the middle of the cruel occupation, devastating fear, and widespread death, God was right there. Immanuel was experiencing it with them. Immanuel means that now, even in the middle of horrible circumstances, God is with us and knows how we suffer. Immanuel cares enough to not only experience the pain with us, but in our place endure greater pain. Immanuel means we have hope.

Immanuel is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us.

 

Learning a New Song

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First, it was the beautiful and wonderful proposal by my now-husband, Nate. 🙂 Then it was the heart-wrenching shock of my fifteen-year-old brother, Joseph, being diagnosed with Leukemia (cancer of the blood). After that came months of mixed emotions: joy and pain, fulfillment and love in relationships with hurt in the suffering of my little brother and family.

Then decisions had to be made.

-Do we have a wedding even if Joseph can’t come? (He is staying in a different city getting treatment.)

-Do we continue on when we don’t know when the transplant will come?

-How do we make plans around the wedding knowing I may need to go to Memphis at any time to be Joseph’s bone marrow donor for the transplant?

Up and down it went with tides of emotion sweeping me this way and that. Yet, underneath, there was a Rock, a Foundation that didn’t move. His Hand was there in every moment to hold me and to still my desperate thoughts. Looking back, its clear that every moment was guided carefully by an All-Knowing and Loving Shepherd.

Joseph graciously understood when Nate and I decided to have the wedding before Joseph could be there in person. He was even able to join in through video calling on the internet. The transplant was postponed till mid-January, giving Nate and I time to honeymoon and even unpack at the new house.

And now, sitting here , hundreds of miles from my old home and family, with life so strange and different, I wonder how I am still tempted to doubt my Great Heavenly Friend. He fights for me. All the change of moving and marriage and Joseph on the slow road of recovery is the gift of a new song. It’s an old truth of God’s faithfulness sung in a new way, different than any other I’ve ever known, but the same Changeless God. It’s the song of my life -Praise to our God, who is worthy!

The stem cells and plasma I donated for Joseph's bone Marrow Transplant.

The stem cells and plasma I donated for Joseph’s bone Marrow Transplant.

“He has put a new song in my mouth -Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.” -Psalm 40:3

(Joseph had a very aggressive kind of Leukemia which the doctors felt, if killed, would simply come back. The doctors decided to do a bone marrow transplant with my stem cells so that Joseph has a higher chance of his body staying cancer free.)