Decisions, Decisions

I’ve always hated decisions. Mostly because I know that by choosing one thing, I’m automatically saying no to all the other choices in front of me. It doesn’t matter whether I’m choosing between outfits, food, or what color to paint my walls, I hate the pressure and responsibility of decisions. I’m always plagued with the thought of “But what if I choose the WRONG thing and end up tragically unhappy for the rest of my life all because of one bad choice?” I’m being dramatic, but you get the point. I hate making decisions. decision-1

Because I fear the consequences of choosing incorrectly, I tend to shy away from commitments and decision making of all kinds. When it comes to finding “God’s will” for my life, I often feel completely overwhelmed and burdened with having to choose what to do. 

A couple weeks ago, I faced a big decision as I was trying to decide whether to stay in America or go back to Taiwan for the year. While both were great options, the more I thought through them, prayed, and received counsel from my parents and friends, the more indecisive I became. Which one was God’s will for my life and how was I supposed to know when it seemed like either could be God’s will?

Eventually, I made the decision to come back to Taiwan. Why? As scandalous as it sounds, I came back because I wanted to come back and because I think God put that desire there for a reason. Surprisingly enough, what led me to that freedom was actually a clearer picture of how Christ, through the gospel, has already secured all of my satisfaction and success through His life and death; I could throw off my fear of failure or fear of making the wrong decision because everything that I needed or could ever want was already found completely in Christ. I was free to do what I wanted without looking for satisfaction from my choices. I was free…simply because Christ had made me free.    

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free…” [Galatians 5:1]

This concept of freedom is still a lot for me to wrap my mind around, especially after living so long burdened in my indecisiveness. But I’m coming to find that freedom really does change everything. I don’t have to fear the consequences of making the wrong choice because in Christ it really doesn’t matter what decisions I make, if I’m walking in His ways, I’m free to choose what I want. I’m free to step out. I’m free to change my mind. I’m free from my own expectations and the expectations of those around me. Free. Simply because Christ has set me free.

A Practical Sign of Faith

130823 PrayerYears ago, I read a poem about a person who was very burdened with stress and a full schedule and put off praying that day saying, “I’m so busy that I can’t take time to pray”. Things don’t go well for this person as they bumble through the day in their own strength. The poem ends with the person waking up the next day – to another full schedule – and saying, “I’m so busy today that I HAVE to take time to pray.”

This is where I often find myself  – easily putting off prayer. Sometimes it’s because I feel my schedule is too full and other “urgent” things have priority – like my three year old daughter who clearly got the “very early morning person” gene. 🙂 Sometimes it’s because there is much weighing on my mind and I feel that I need to think it through before I know how to present it to God (who knows all about it anyway – doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it?). Whatever the reason I find to neglect praying, it’s not nearly as urgent or important as all the reasons I should be praying.

When I really think about it, consistent prayer is probably one of the clearest and most practical signs that I truly believe that God is real. I can think of a few people that I know who clearly have well developed prayer lives –it’s just part of their thought process! When talking to these people even briefly, they’ll often say “let me pray for you” or “let’s talk to God about this” and it’s not awkward or showy – it’s as normal as if they stopped to include another person in the conversation. God is real to them! They often have stories to share of what God is doing around them and they inspire me (and others) to follow harder after Him.

I want to be like that – to have prayer such a part of my daily life that Jesus is literally the friend always beside me ready for conversation. When prayer is built into my life, I will not only receive the benefits of exercising my faith and having good communication with God, but those who come into contact with me may very well see more of Him, too.

what Cathedrals and Youth Rooms teach us about God

This year I’ve had the chance to see some really old and grand cathedrals in Europe. Everything about it is really incredible – the detailed carvings, stained glass mosaics, high ceilings that are tens of stories above you.

cathedral

You walk in and immediately sense the atmosphere of reverence. Either you stay silent or whisper because the sacred and solemn surroundings command respect. (And also because any sound you make would be amplified in the large hall.)

The youth room at my church is quite a contrast to these magnificent cathedrals. We have low ceilings, IKEA couches, a lamp, over-sized pillows, and a couple stuffed animals in the mix. It’s cozy and like a living room, probably similar some rooms of your own church.

youthroom1

Two very different places, both places of worship. The cathedral well represents the transcendence of God – He is far above and unlike us, and so purely holy that it should evoke reverence and awe in us. Sitting on a pew in a huge antique church reminds me of how God is high and lifted up, infinitely greater than me, and inspires the fear of the Lord and worship of His greatness.

The youth room reflects the immanence of God – He is a personal God who stoops down from heavenly majesty to earth to become human and to identify with us. He is present in our daily lives and acquainted with all our ways. Sitting on a couch in our youth room reminds me that God is entirely relevant and real today, not distant and impersonal. It inspires a response of relationship and trust.

The church is a place of worship and reverence. The church is a place of family and community. God is infinitely high. God is incredibly near. Praise and worship Him!

Confessions of an Insecure Perfectionist

Confessions of an Insecure Perfectionist

Insecurity is one of my besetting sins. It’s one of those core-issue, mindset kind of sins that affects everything I think and do. It has been a part of my life for so long that I don’t even have to think about it, my mind just automatically runs all of it’s decisions through the Insecurity Evaluation Filter to determine the amount of risk to my ego. Let’s just say… it’s a stressful way to live.

I can finally talk about insecurity honestly because its hold on my soul is cracking.

While I was growing up, I envied, despised, and totally did not understand all those confident kids. I both hated them and wished that I could be like them. I strove for perfection in everything that I did, somehow planning that once I was perfect I too would be confident. As an insecure perfectionist, I was plagued with awareness of all the areas in which I did not measure up, and thus all the more insecure as I had to hide my shortcomings from the world.

I have come to realize that perfection isn’t the secret to confidence, truth is. When I agree with God that I am in need of grace and forgiveness, insecurity loses its power because I have nothing left to hide. When I agree with God that I am justified and adopted as a joint heir with Christ, confidence finds root-not in my perfection-but in God’s declaration of my righteousness. I no longer have to live life in painful insecurity of my shortcomings and sin, not because I have never sinned, but because I am confident that Christ has made me clean.

A Giants Perspective

 

I recently was visiting a friend before her wedding and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw this big red board that she and friends have been writing on for the past year. They have made it a daily habit writing something that they are thankful for on the board. Each time the board is full, they erase and start all over with more words of thanks!

I loved the concept, and since I’m a very visual person it clearly displayed the scripture found in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

God’s will is that we have an upward perspective. One that is continually in a spirit of thankfulness. It’s extremely hard to be discouraged about things not going the way you planned when you are remembering all the times that God has been faithful, protected you from danger, provided for a need, or sent someone to cross your path and encourage you just when you needed it most.

The act of gratitude begins with perspective, and with you. You have to decide whether to be the grasshopper surrounded by big-eyed giants, or be the giants admiring the grasshoppers. It’s about remembering the little things that give meaning to life.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Can you take one moment and tell the world one thing that YOU are grateful for?

I’ve already started the list below – Go ahead and add to it as things come to mind!

Illusory Coincidences

I have a friend that I have been mentoring for the last year and a half who has struggled with drug addiction for many years. He has moved around a few times to help him steer clear of former drug dealers and various influences from his past, all while he’s worked hard to try to rebuild his life. It’s been awesome to see him respond to God’s grace over the last few months, but an interesting situation occurred last month that has really tested him. After he made a purchase at an electronics store, he went to his home and waited for the product to be delivered. Showing up at his doorstep with the product he had purchased was a former drug dealer who was also working for the electronics company. This drug dealer not only began to try making some re-connections, but he also now had access to all of my friend’s personal information (through the computers at the electronics store). So tell me, are situations like this merely coincidence, is God just out to test us, or is there something more sinister going on behind the scenes?

We talk a lot at VOICE about how real our God is, but do you live your life with the awareness that you have a very real enemy as well? Satan wants to snuff out your life! If he can’t do that, then he wants to work his hardest to ensure that you are not able to walk truly in the Light of Gospel. Situations like my friend encountered are a stark reminder to me that there is no such thing as coincidence. Are you going to tell me that in a town of 100,000 people the one person you don’t want on your doorstep “just happens” to show up?

One note of caution: I’ll be the first to tell you that just because temptations and trials come, I don’t believe that indicates that there is a demon hiding behind every tree (Luke has some good thoughts on this very topic). Not only is that mentality nowhere in Scripture, but I also know the state of my own heart and what I naturally gravitate towards.

However, here’s the challenge: as we know, just believing that God is real does not really get you too far. The demons believe, and they’re even freaked out by the knowledge (James 2:19). If your eyes have been opened to the truth of the Gospel, you’re going to try to live it out. The same point exists regarding our enemy. Do you believe that Satan is real? That’s nice…so, what are you doing about it?

Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 AMP)

Satan is real. Live like it.

Why?

OklahomaTornado.JPEG

Damage from a tornado in Moore, Oklahoma last month.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen to anybody? If God is good, why does He allow bad things in this world – sometimes terrible things?
Last month we had several very powerful tornadoes in our area. One of them came within one mile of our house. Thousands of houses were destroyed, billions of dollars of damage, hundreds of people injured, and more than fifty people killed. I attended the funeral of one of the victims whose father I knew. Hundreds of people were there…and amazingly, it was a hopeful, encouraging time. Everyone was supporting each other, seeking God together, reminding each other that God goes with us through our pain. God suffers when we suffer. And God brings good out of our suffering and His suffering.

I don’t know why God let the tornadoes happen – probably there are many reasons. Probably there are special reasons in the lives of each person who was affected. Some of God’s reasons might be difficult to accept if we knew them. But maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult if we saw how everything fits together.

The week after one of the storms, I was listening to a sermon on Sunday morning and noticed what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen. 50:20).

You know the story of Joseph, right? His brothers sold him as a slave into Egypt, where he was falsely accused of assault and imprisoned for three years. Because of that, he met the king’s wine taster. Because of that, he met the king and saved Egypt from a famine. Because of that, his own family moved to Egypt. Because of that, the family grew into a large nation: Israel. Because of that, the Egyptians hated them and they left Egypt and wandered in the wilderness for forty years. Because of their experiences in the wilderness and the Law that God gave them, they learned to trust God instead of themselves. Because of this, Israel was set on a path that would prepare them and even us to trust Jesus Christ. The evil done to Joseph was an integral part of the picture of God’s redemption of the world.

And this all began because Joseph’s brothers intended evil against him. Who fully understands God’s power to bring good out of evil? Certainly not me. But I think we can see glimpses of it at times, and those glimpses can help us to believe in bigger pictures like this one. This is part of living out God’s reality…in the middle of the reality around us. VOICE 2013 starts in less than a month and we’ll be talking about all kinds of stuff like this with more students and staff. See you there!

Christians and the Arts

2013_05_17 Arts Those who know me well may think it’s funny that I would choose to write about the arts. I apparently free-styled too much in ballet as a child. I never made it past a year or two of piano lessons (as a five year old, I told my mom that I wasn’t “ready”). And although now there are many arts that I really appreciate, until recently if you asked me where I thought it ranked on a spiritual scale, I probably would have said pretty low.

However, creativity is an essential part of God’s character, and so as His image bearers, we should have a high regard for all creativity and beauty. Unfortunately, some in the Christian world have deemed many artistic endeavors as unimportant because they didn’t seem as “useful” as other Christian activities. As a result, many Christians have either left the arts alone or let the arts that we produce or support slip to less than excellent.

In ignoring the arts or producing art that is mediocre, we can lessen our impact. Franky Schaeffer says, “Any group that willingly or unconsciously sidesteps creativity and human expression gives up their effective role in the society in which they live. In Christian terms, their ability to be salt and light of that society is diminished.” Although direct outreach and evangelism have places of serious spiritual significance, books, movies, music, etc. have a heavy influence on culture and we can likewise have a powerful spiritual impact through such endeavors – especially if we do them well.

So – as someone who is not specifically involved in the creative arena – how can I really reflect this aspect of God’s character? First, the “arts” doesn’t simply refer to the high arts. As Schaeffer said, it also refers to any form of human expression – written, verbal, musical, etc. With that in mind, I really don’t have to look far to see how I can reflect God. I can mirror His interest in detail and beauty in the way that I order and decorate my home, write and verbally communicate creatively and free from the profane, teach my daughter to create things with her mind and hands expose her to good art and literature, create through growing a garden, etc.

I can positively impact my culture not only by the things that I produce, but also those that I support. We all constantly encounter things (music, photos, shows, movies, books, and so on) that call for our “appreciation”. I should avoid artistic expression that doesn’t fit the criteria of true beauty. (We are told to worship God in “the beauty of holiness” (1 Chron 16:29, Psalm 29:2, Psalm 96:9). If something is not holy, it is not truly beautiful.) I can also support those Christians who are committed to using their talents in artistic excellence, and not view their work as non-essential to the Christian cause.

Whatever skills God has given us (or not given us) and where ever He has called us to be, let’s better communicate to the world around us by reflecting our creative, diverse, and beautiful God with excellence!

We Walk by Faith

Have you ever had doubts about your life as a Christian? Are there concepts within your faith that you cannot rationally comprehend with human logic? Often we are confronted with questions from unbelieving friends that may bring about questions in our own minds. How do we know that God is real, or that the Bible is true, or that the earth was created? Each one of us has struggled with questions either before we believed in Jesus Christ or after. James encourages us to embrace challenges, and to realize that through testing and trial, we grow in our faith (James 1:2-3).

In a recent discussion group some friends of mine host for local university students, we read the story of Jesus walking on the water and the response of his disciples from Matthew 11. Like Peter seeing Jesus defying gravity and everything my science book teaches about buoyancy, we find many ideas about God and living the Christian life to be difficult to believe. And like Peter and the rest of the disciples, our reasoning cries out: “It’s a ghost!” Or a fairy tale, or just too impossible to believe. But then we take a step of faith and trust that what God is telling us is true. We step out of the boat into the water and try to walk like Jesus does.

Walk by FaithIt is hard to leave the safety of the shore, or a boat, or whatever our logical reasoning has clung to in the past, and step out on the water. Peter did, and he started out fine. But then he noticed the wind and the waves, and began to have doubts about the reality of what he was doing, and began to sink in the water. We also may take a few steps in faith and then encounter circumstances that bring about doubt in our minds regarding the legitimacy of our faith and beliefs. Often, like Peter, these doubts lead us to rely on our own wisdom and reasoning, and we start to sink in confusion and fear.

Our doubts and struggles are indications that our faith is being strengthened. We have the opportunity to search out the truth for why we believe what we believe. Sometimes we may not find an answer to our questions that satisfies our own reasoning. This is when we step out in faith and believe in what we have seen, and heard, and know to be true. Step out!

Real Beauty

Many of you have probably seen the video that was recently shared all over Facebook: Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches.” In a nutshell, Dove conducted an experiment where a professional artists draws a woman’s face without seeing her, once based on her description of herself, and a second time by another’s description of her. When the two were juxtaposed, it was apparent that the women saw themselves with more flaws and less attractive than how others viewed them.

image from abcnews.go.com

Of course, it seems like the kind of “experiment” that has a pre-determined result and video editing to highlight the parts that best communicates the message they  intend. But the point that “You are more beautiful than you think” is a valid one to consider.

You are beautiful, but not because others say so (though that is encouraging!). You are beautiful because the One who defines beauty is the One who designed you. You are beautiful because your kindness and other such adornments bring out the attractiveness  in your face. And as a child of God, you are beautiful because you have the beauty of Jesus in you.

It’s not so much “work on feeling better about yourself” in order to be more confident, but pursue abiding in Christ to walk securely in your identity. “Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” (Psalm 34:5)