Category Archives: faith

God Mended My Hoodie

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One winter day, during my second year in Taiwan, the weather was cool so I had taken my favorite blue hoodie along to school with me. On the drive to school, I noticed a tear in one of the sleeves.  I couldn’t wear it like that. I resigned myself to toughing it out in my t-shirt.      When I arrived at school, I plopped my bags, books, and purse down on and around my desk. My coworker, Xu Jun, and I greeted each other with smiles and “Good morning!” Then I showed her my hoodie.”The grandma can fix it,” she responded to my tale of tear.

The “grandma” is a bustling, kindly, older woman. What her official job is at the school, I’m not really sure. She bandages, combs disheveled hair, scolds, comforts, and generally ‘grandmas’ everyone in the school – except the principal, of course.

“Yes!” exclaimed another teacher, “We have a very good seamstress!”

“Here, here. Bring it here.” Grandma ordered in her gruff, yet good-tempered, way.

I gratefully handed my hoodie to her. I expected to teach at least one period in my shirtsleeves, so I settled contentedly down at my desk for a chat with Xu Jun before class. Not five minutes later, bless her heart, the grandma tossed my sweatshirt to me. She had mended it beautifully.

I thanked her profusely. I thanked the Lord, too. I knew He had directed me to take that particular hoodie to that school (as opposed to the others, which don’t have ‘grandmas’) just so it would be mended.

A couple of days later a friend of mine was trying to tease me about the hole. “Look!” she commanded several of our mutual friends. “Look! There’s a big hole in her sweatshirt… Where is it?” she asked in surprise.I laughed and explained how God had mended my hoodie.

Sometimes I’m tempted to think that God doesn’t really care about what is happening in my life. Then He reminds me of times like this when He has proven that He is concerned with even the smallest details. Why should I doubt His loving care? After all, “He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)
This Easter, as we celebrate God’s greatest act of love, may we all continually marvel at and trust in the faithful loving-kindness of God!

Shaken by the Gospel

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“Shake well. Settling is natural.”

Have you, like I, ever ignored that warning of shaking first – only to find that it would’ve been much better had we listened? Smoothies & life might not have a lot in common, but, this “warning” label is just as important in our spiritual life as it is in reality.

Sometimes I like January 1st; other times, I truly resent it. This year, I was taken aback. I saw myself in a way I had never before. Desperate. I had become desperate for change. I realized the mundane had affected my life, heart, and soul. My passion & zeal for life needed to be more than a spark – I wanted a burning flame.

God doesn’t want us to be stuck in the ordinary. He may have us there for a season, but, it is for only that – a season. He will interject times of ‘shaking’ where everything we know might be changed – for us to thrive & flourish with passion; fulfilling the purpose that He created for each one of us to do. Prepare now for that time – it will come.

For the past three months, He has been doing a lot of ‘shaking’ in my own life. I’ve seen Him place me into situations outside of my comfort zone, and realized the potential for new growth. New church; meeting other young people from my area who have the desire to live like God is real in their own life; taking a course on missions & culture, and loving every minute of it . . . with all of this being only the beginning!

Peter challenged the early Christians in Acts to believe the things they had seen & heard, and drove the Truth of the Gospel into their hearts & minds. His encouragement and the passion in his soul transformed their lives, and ours as a result. After being shaken by the Gospel, they became open and willing to do whatever was necessary to spread the good news of Jesus and to take care of one another. {Acts 2:42-47}

That first Christian church in Acts had two goals: 1) Meet each other’s needs; 2) Take the message of the Gospel to the world. With these two goals they turned the world upside down.

Almost 2,000 years later, what are some ways you think our generation can turn the world upside down just like those early Christians did?

The Persecution Problem

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“Why have I not experienced more persecution?”

This is a recent question I’ve had when reading the Bible. We are clearly told in John 16:33, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” At the same time, persecution is not something Christians should be afraid of: it’s something we should welcome. “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:10).

Compared to Christians currently living in Muslim or Communist countries, I think you can agree with me we’ve got it pretty easy. In fact, if we took the time to think about the persecution we have experienced, we’d probably realize we were just suffering the consequences of our own wrong decisions.

That leads me to an expansion of my initial question: “Does a lack of persecution in my life mean I am doing something wrong?”

I know God hasn’t commanded us to actively look for opportunities to be persecuted, but then what would the correct response be? If we examined ourselves, would we be able to say yes to the following questions?

  1. Am I any different from the world?
  2. Am I living for Jesus in every situation?
  3. Am I ready to rejoice when I experience persecution for Jesus’ sake?

In many ways, this is a question I am still asking myself: “If I’m really living like God is real, shouldn’t I be experiencing more persecution?”

What are your thoughts?

the mommy dilemma

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On Februray 4th, God blessed us with a beautiful daughter, whom we named Arianna. In the months leading up to her arrival, I did everything I could to get ready– I read books on what to do, talked to friends about their experience, exercised and ate a baby-friendly diet, which is probably why she weighed 8 lb 10 oz at birth– more than my brother when he was born!

Even with all that preparation, I wasn’t quite prepared for all the conflicting opinions. American doctors say I should eat one thing; Chinese medicine says that would be bad for my body. Some say babies should sleep on their tummies; others say they should sleep on their back. One group says babies should be fed on demand; another group says babies should be put on a schedule.

What to do? How do I know if I’m making the right decision for Arianna and for our family? The more I talked to people about what they did, the less certain I felt about making a decision. I began worrying that my decision might have a negative effect upon our daughter.

When family came to visit, I worried that Arianna might get sick from all the germs people were bringing into our house. Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief after they left, Luke caught a cold. Every time he sneezed or coughed, I winced. What if I catch his cold? What if Arianna gets sick?

In the midst of my worries, a verse broke through like a light in the darkness: “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You” (Psalm 56:3). Even though I don’t know for certain what’s best, God does and He loves my daughter far more than I ever will.

As a new mommy, living like God is real means remembering that fact and trusting Him to lead us one decision at a time.

 

from Taiwan to Hong Kong, with love.

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I had been away from church for more than a month, and the Children’s Institute trip had ended only a few days ago.

It was last Sunday – I was riding the subway to church to teach Sunday School and see all the youth, but I didn’t feel ready. I was trying to get my heart there, but my mind was still thinking about the CI. It was a somewhat discouraging MTR ride as I struggled with the challenge of jumping back into another world.

But after I arrived, greeted the youth, and as the morning progressed, I began to feel more genuinely happy to be there and more “back home.”

I’m thankful that God affirmed for me that this church is where I can serve right now. I was (and am) learning to throw myself 100% into whatever people God puts in my life and says, “Love them and invest in them.” – whether they are CI kids, CI teachers, HK teens, or HK teachers (we had a character training for teachers today :-).

Who has God asked you to love today?

The Potential of Persistence

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“But Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he crouched down on the earth and put his face between his knees. He said to his servant, ‘Go up now, look toward the sea.’ So he went up and looked and said, ‘There is nothing.’ And he said, ‘Go back’ seven times. It came about at the seventh time, that he said, ‘Behold, a cloud as small as a man’s hand is coming up from the sea.’ And he said, ‘Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, so that the heavy shower does not stop you.'”

1 Kings 18:42-44

I’ve been chewing on this passage over the last few weeks and I find it amazing to not only see the perseverance of Elijah in praying for rain, but also to observe his faith when the only sign he had was a small cloud way off in the distance. I know it’s so easy for my heart to give up, especially when it comes to crying out to God and asking Him to show His power in a certain area and I don’t see an answer right away.

Recently, I’ve been challenged to take on the heart of Elijah as it pertains to prayer. It’s been an exciting journey, mainly because I’ve been looking for situations to come up in my life where either something seems impossible, or I pray right away and don’t see a result. I have come away amazed and have seen some miraculous displays of God’s power as I merely have been persistent (feel free to let me know if you want to hear some testimonies). Although I believe with all my heart that God is Sovereign and that His plan is still in place even when I don’t see results, I also think that we as Christians miss out on an extra blessing when we fail to be persistent in prayer.

The Christian faith is all about pursuing God with our whole heart, but isn’t it sad to see how often we seek our Savior half-heartedly and just give up after saying a little prayer? Let’s boldly and persistently live for Christ!

 

Moving Day

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Just about a week ago was moving day for Rowan and Jocelyn.

We had been living in a nice studio apartment above a friend’s garage in rural Sandy, Oregon. Then, on December 28th, we received a notice that our lease was expiring and that we would have to move by January 31. It threw us off a bit and made us really nervous. Where would we go? What would we do? Neither of us had ever gone out shopping for a new apartment before.

But shop we did. We looked at lots of places online. We looked at places all over the Portland metro area. We even looked at places in San Diego! Then we had to go look at some of them in person. So we set a date, drove to downtown Portland, and began visiting the places we had seen online. Some of them were really nice. Some of them we knew we didn’t want as soon as we pulled up outside the building.

As we were looking at one place, Jocelyn said, “Hey, what about that building over there?” There was a phone number outside the building, so Jocelyn called it, set up an appointment for a few minutes later, and soon we were exploring the new building we hadn’t seen online. When we walked into the apartment Jocelyn knew it was the one she wanted. The kitchen was just right, the style was kind of vintage, the bedroom was small and cute, and there were nice big closets.

It took us a few days to sign all the paper work, and a few days more and the help of some good friends to move all of our stuff, but we are now living in our new apartment in downtown Portland!

Even though this apartment feels like home, it is not really. We only have a 6-month lease, after which we can move to somewhere else, or the landlord can decide they don’t want us here any more. We love our neighborhood and how we can walk to the grocery store and our favorite coffee shops and restaurants, but let’s face it, Jocelyn and I know that we’re not going to spend the rest of our lives in this neighborhood.

Our time here on Earth is a bit like that as well. I love it here… I love my friends and neighbors, I love the scenery, I love flying to the four corners of the globe and exploring this amazing planet God has given us. Our lease here is short, and soon we will all be moving. It’s OK… it’s part of the plan. Jesus told us this a long time ago when he said in John 14, “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”

Jesus is preparing a place for us, a final, complete, and perfect place where we will go to live forever with Him. I can’t wait!

R

embracing community

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When I was still single, I remember hearing about different friends who were devastated when they miscarried their first baby. For some reason, I thought that if they had just kept their pregnancy a secret, they wouldn’t have been so disappointed. And so I made up my mind that when I was pregnant, I would try to keep it a secret until I was pretty sure it was “safe” to tell.

Last March, I miscarried my first child. True to my resolution, aside from Luke, I didn’t tell many people. In fact, it took months for me to tell my own family. I tried to be brave and strong, but the disappointment was devastating– especially since I bore it alone.

When I told a friend about it later that fall, she was shocked. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” she asked. “When I found out I was pregnant, I told people right away, because I knew I’d need the church’s support if anything were to happen when my husband was deployed.”

I’ve been pondering her words ever since. Why did I think it’d be better to tough things out on my own when God had designed a community of support for me in the church? Is it really better to hold those struggles inside? Is it really Christian to be “strong” by being private about my difficulties?

These last few months, as Luke and I have been adjusting to a lower income, his new schedule for work and school, the changes that will come with a baby, and certain issues in our marriage, I’ve discovered that I really can’t shoulder my problems on my own. Aside from casting all my cares on Christ (1 Peter 5:7), I’m also learning to humble myself and share my struggles with the believers God has placed in my life.

Sometimes, living like God is real means learning to embrace the church community by being vulnerable about our struggles and weaknesses. Don’t tough it out alone.

The Right Reason

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In the book of Colossians, the Apostle Paul tells us that no matter what we do we should “do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men”. (Col 3:23)  Often I find myself concerned about what other people think of me instead of what Christ’s opinion is.  Of course, this is caused by my selfishness and pride.

This past semester I started studying at home for a college degree.  Every time I sit down to study it’s important for me to remind myself for Whom I am studying.  The purpose of anything I do in my life should always be to please Christ.  By earning this degree, I am working towards something that will give me more opportunities and make me seem more successful to other people.  However, the real purpose for acquiring the degree is not so that I can have a great career or impress people.  My purpose in earning the degree is so that I will be able to serve Christ in different ways than I am able to now.

Sometimes when we do something good and right for the right reason (pleasing Jesus!) people may think we are doing it for a selfish reason and they become upset.  At other times when we do something right or wrong out of a selfish reason people will praise us.  God understands our true motivations.  “…man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)  Jesus should be the most important person and His good opinion the most treasured in our lives.

When Jesus’ opinion is my highest priority I always have a great peace.  I am free from the pressures and opinions of other people and can focus wholeheartedly on doing the best I can for Jesus’ sake.  However, this does not mean that I ignore my authorities’ wishes!  It means that when my authorities give me a task to accomplish I should see it as a personal commission from Christ and do it diligently with a cheerful attitude.  It also doesn’t mean that I can ignore other people!  It means that I should see each person as an opportunity to show Christ’s love.  Unfortunately, I don’t always do these things, but the Lord has been faithful to provide me with many opportunities to practice. 🙂 He will give you opportunities to practice in the coming year, too!

Happy New Year!

Empty handed & satisfied.

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Small or large, cloth or paper – I love Children’s books. I always have, and I’m quite sure I always will. A bookshelf in my room contains my own selection of all-time favorites, and one titled “The Perfect Gift” in particular has been on my mind recently.

The story line revolves around boy rabbit wanting to give the perfect gift to his best friend, girl rabbit. He searches high and low to find something special enough for her. In the peak days of autumn, he holds out his hand to give her a beautiful leaf he has found. Sadly the wind blows it right out of his hand, and he is left to think of something even more special, but that won’t blow away. The days begin to get colder, and he surprises her with a snowflake of winter. She reaches out to touch it, and it quickly melts. The grass becomes green with the rain of spring, and beautiful flowers bloom. His search is on to find still the perfect gift, one that can’t blow away or melt and disappear. He finds it! Hands clasped together, he presents her with a brightly colored butterfly – the most beautiful one she has ever seen! The brilliance of the sun soon attracted the butterfly though, and it flew away. Leo became very sad and disheartened. He had searched so hard and thought he found just the right gift, but nothing seemed to last! He knew there had to be something out there perfect enough to give her, and he was not going to quit until he had found it. He searched high & low, far & near; but still he could not find anything that would last, and returned empty handed. Ashamed to see Lisa soon after his return, he held his hands behind his back to hide the fact that he had nothing to give her. Lisa, being the sweet girl that she was though, exclaimed to him that it wasn’t the gifts that she wanted – it was to hold the hand of her best friend.

{Sigh} I just love this story. It’s so sweet, and yet, so powerful in a quiet way. With Christmas in just one week, it seems that everyone has become so focused on giving or getting his or her own perfect gift. After I read this story again the other day I couldn’t get away from how this simple tale of two rabbits plays out between God and me.

How often have I, and do I, try to give God something that I imagine to be what He wants? Does He truly want every penny I have? Maybe. Am I willing to offer it to Him, and if He asks me to give it away, would I? If His desire was for me to relinquish a life-long dream in pursuit of His plan, could I?

This Christmas, I’m offering to God my own two hands in full abandon to Him. Releasing my tight grip on finding, doing or being the “perfect gift” and focusing on giving what He truly wants – Me.