Karen and I have tried to be open at VOICE about my struggles with lust and temptations toward pornography. We try to talk about it in an appropriate and decent way, but also be transparent about the spiritual battle that it is. This is a difficult and embarrassing thing to talk about, but we do it for at least two reasons: we need the support of other Christians, and we want others to realize that they too can find ways to talk with others about their sins and struggles.
Many areas of sin are “taboo” to talk about in Christian circles: we avoid talking about them (and we’re expected to avoid talking about them) because talking about it makes us too uncomfortable. Lust is one of these forbidden topics, perhaps the most forbidden. There is something right about the topic making us uncomfortable: sin should not only make us uncomfortable, it should revolt us and shock us. We should turn away in horror.
But there is something wrong about our discomfort making us silent. Silence about our sins is the path to continued failure and discouragement: “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” (Pr. 28:13). There is a culture in many Christian circles that supresses talk about the sin of lust, and this supression leaves each person to struggle on their own with a great burden. This might be one reason why the Bible tells us to confess our sins – to more people than just God (James 5:16). The burden of sin is clearly too much for any person to bear on their own: Christ came because each of us are unable to cope with the consequesnce of our sins. So it should be no surprise that Christ’s solution to the sins of his people includes supporting each other in battling the sins that we are tempted toward: we, the Church, are called ‘The Body of Christ,’ and much of what Christ does on earth is done through us (1 Cor. 12:12-27, especially v. 26).
Many Bible teachers have pointed out that the commands Christ gave were much stricter and more difficult to keep than the commands of the old testament. Moses said, “Do not commit adultery,” but Jesus said, “Do not lust” (Mt. 5:27-28). The more we try to hide our sin, the more we miss out on the grace that Christ has given to fulfill this perfect law, because that grace is given to us in relationships with other Christians who know our struggles: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:1-2).
We live in cultures in which lust is praised and encouraged in both men and women. If our response to this vicious spiritual attack is to forbid open discussion of our struggles – or even of the entire topic – then we deny our brothers and sisters the support and openness they need.
Of course we could go too far and talk about our sins as if we’re not even sorry, or talk with the wrong people at the wrong time. We need to discern when and with whom it is appropriate to share. But the extreme of sharing too much about our struggles with lust is not the failing of the Church right now: instead we share too little.
We need to be ready to share about our own sins and to carry with others the burden of their sins. We are the grace of God, the body of Christ, when we do this.
