Tag Archives: Jesus

Safe.

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Safety…

I had never really considered it before.

Even when I lived alone, half-a-world away from family, I’ve been blessed with a sense of security & protection all of my life. With safety a seemingly natural thing, I never really considered what it would be like to feel UN-safe, UN-secure, UN-assured. UN-protected.

Then I began a relationship… with someone who made me feel completely safe. Even safer than ever before! So I still didn’t notice it.

As I began preparing for our wedding, I ran across a few blogs, snippets of books, etc that talked about marriage and relationships. They talked about how to overcome common threats to deepening relationships: Anxiety. Insecurities. Inadequacy. Fears.

Suddenly, I began to realize what a precious gift I did have, by understanding what I didn’t have. I was so grateful to my parents, grateful to my fiancé, grateful to God! Moreover, I’ve begun to feel the beautiful weight of how our relationship with our earthly spouse is a mirror of our identity in Christ. (Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’d heard that all my life… but I didn’t KNOW it.)

For those who are 2nd or 3rd generation Christians, we take Salvation through Christ for granted. It’s hard to imagine life without Him. We obviously don’t want to turn back time and live a more sin-filled life in order to drink more deeply of His grace, but… we don’t know what it means to return to our first love, because we scarcely remember that far back! (Except maybe what our favorite toy was!)

And yet… it’s HUGE! It’s such a HUGE THING to be Saved. Washed clean. Redeemed. Uncondemned. Pursued. Loved. Secure. Accepted. Adopted. Wanted. Cherished. Completely whole in Christ. Made new. Safe.

The prayer of an unbeliever.

The prayer of a not-yet-believer.

An Uncourtship Story

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“Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance.” —Psalm 32:7 (KJV)

I searched the Bible for character qualities my future wife should have…and some I should have.

I made commitments to “courtship” when I was 12. I had crushes, accompanied by prayer and journaling. I read blog posts about “being the right one” rather than “finding the right one.” I looked for more character qualities I should have.

If I did what was right, I wouldn’t hurt others or be hurt myself, right?

Then I tried to “court” someone.

That’s when I discovered well-intentioned people treat one another shabbily, even when—maybe especially when—they’re trying to do everything right.

Along the way, I heard lots of advice. There were admonitions to be “serious” about relationships. But being “serious” didn’t guarantee I wasn’t also selfish.

There were admonitions to “pursue” relationship, that relationships take work. This idea pointed out where I focus on myself rather than another person. But my initiative and effort did not guarantee relationship success.

The shame became the hardest part.

While my friends were getting married and then having kids, I wondered why my relationships would last a while…and not work out.

In the two and a half years before I met my wife, Tina, at VOICE 2013, two 8-month relationships came and went—one mostly on Skype that couldn’t survive meeting in person, one relationship I ended for reasons I still struggle to articulate.

Even my good desires were all mixed up with something else. I’d think myself in the right…and realize how self-righteous that thought meant I was. I would decide my life direction didn’t match someone else’s…and then I would realize how much fear was influencing my decisions.

So when I met Tina, I didn’t experience it as answered prayer. I hadn’t thought to pray…although the guys on my team at VOICE did.

I didn’t “love Jesus more,” or receive a “rhema,” or get myself to a place where I had “no will of my own,” though those sound like good things.

Knowing Tina has been more like a sudden rain than like turning on a faucet, more like being forgiven than like “clearing my conscience,” more like grace than anything else.

Now that we’re married we need each other’s forgiveness even more. And the other’s forgiveness makes God’s promised forgiveness feel more real.

Maybe that’s the point.

Maybe grace is not “the desire and power to do what is right” but the work we discover God was doing all along. Maybe what we’re meant to know isn’t “how to live the Christian life” but to behold our Savior.

Three Christmases

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This is the story of three Christmases:

Last Christmas was the most difficult Christmas I’ve ever experienced. I was a team leader in Taiwan, juggling responsibilities of team, family, and friends. My sister had recently lost her first child in a late, painful miscarriage. My family was visiting, but instead of a joyful reunion and celebration, we were all in mourning; our celebration muffled by our loss. Christmas Day was spent going numbly from one activity to the next. To sum up last Christmas in a phrase: dark sorrow.

This Christmas, I experienced the best of both worlds in Taiwan and America. I spent all the anticipation of Christmas in Taiwan with my sister and her husband, waiting for their second child Lórien to be born. I arrived in the States the day before Christmas Eve and spent Christmas day preparing and eating a joyous feast with the rest of my family. For the first time in three years, I spent Christmas in my childhood home looking out at piles of snow. This Christmas in a phrase: joyful light.

In the stillness and sorrow of last Christmas, a refrain echoed “God with us.”
In the activity and joy of this Christmas, that refrain still echoes.

By contrasting these two Christmases, I have started to see the bittersweet nature of the first Christmas, when we celebrate God coming down to be with us. At the time of Jesus’ advent, Israel was under foreign rule that had lasted for 400 years. Ancient prophecies spoke of a virgin conceiving and giving birth to a son whose name would be called Immanuel–”God with us”.

The joyous occasion of Jesus’ arrival was muffled like my family’s last Christmas. A jealous, insane king searched for the Baby to kill him before He even grew up and slaughtered the baby boys of Bethlehem. It is likely that the shepherds who had witnessed the glory of God shining around them and seen the Child themselves suffered the heartbreaking, dark sorrow of losing their own children.

Photo by Lars Kasper

Photo by Lars Kasper

Platitudes are unhelpful when sorrow cuts deep–but instead of offering a platitude, God offered Himself.

That’s why Jesus’ title of “God with us” is important to remember, because it was HE who came into our dark world as the light “shining in the dark, and darkness has never put it out.” (John 1:5 CEV).

Methodical Sheep

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Lately, I’ve been taking a hard look at many of the statements that Jesus made. The more I dig, the more I realize that Jesus made so many definitive statements, but the fascinating part is that He hardly ever qualifies them. What do I mean by that? Take John 10:27 for example: “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” Now, that’s a passage that many people are familiar with, and anyone can argue that it’s a strong assertion made by our Savior. However, when you dig a little deeper, how many can fully identify how it works on a practical level?

What does Jesus mean when He says his sheep ‘hear’ His voice? Do Jesus’ sheep hear His voice audibly? Is Jesus always ‘speaking’ to His sheep? I can ask question after question, and even after digging into the original language and context, I’m still left with quite a bit of intrigue.

We as humans put a lot of stock into our minds. It is very easy for me to project what Jesus’ intentions were behind His many statements, but in reality – and if I’m intellectually honest – I really cannot put a solid method in place for what Jesus is saying, and many times that makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. My mind wants to figure it out. I want to know the formula for hearing Jesus’ voice and then pass that secret onto others.

Sheep Formula1

Ultimately, I’ve come to believe that Jesus was very deliberate about the way He said things. He knows our minds, and He knows our hearts. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are constantly looking for ways to figure out this Christian process, which can very quickly turn into a religious attitude, similar to what the Pharisees struggled with. Not fully knowing what Jesus’ statements mean causes us to do one thing: press deeper into Him! If our heartcry is to encounter Jesus, then I believe His sheep will know on an individual level what ‘hearing’ Him really looks like. It may not look the same for everyone – and that’s okay. Stop trying to slap a formula on Jesus’ statements. He never did, and if we maintain the heart of a simple-minded sheep, then we won’t either.

Revive Me

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“God, I can’t make it today. Life’s too hard. I’m tired.”

Do you have those days? I’m not talking about just having a late night and not wanting to get out of bed. I’m talking about the kind of tired where you don’t know if you care to ever get out of bed—the kind of tired that sinks into your soul. Psalm 119:25a says, “My soul clings to the dust.” I’ve found myself identifying with this verse.

It wasn’t anything in particular that made life hard. It was simply, well, everything. All of life’s platitudes and helpful sayings hit me like a slap in the face. Each morning rushed upon me like a charging bull. I needed a way out of an endless cycle of hurt and self-pity. Praise God! He has given one—the Word.

I thought: “I’ve tried that. I’ve read the Bible. Tell me something new.” But, the amazing truth is my answer is not in some new thing that will magically solve all my problems. My answer, as a child of God, is within me. The Father, who gave His all to know me, lives inside me and IS the answer to everything. And if He is what I need, I must fill my life, my heart, my mind, my soul with the Word. “…and the Word was God.” (John 1:1)

All throughout the Word, we find the command to keep His commandments. “And this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:3). Keep means to hold on to something, to take care of it, to have it with you. Our Father knows our weaknesses and needs above anyone else. When the soul is laid low, the answer is still the same.

Do you feel like your feet are slipping and you are desperately grasping for something to stop your plummet? Cling to His Word. Read the Word. Memorize it. Talk about it. Fill your free time with it. At first, you may not notice a difference. I didn’t, but, slowly, something happened. In the end, my life hasn’t changed too much, but my heart has. Deep inside something has grown. It’s a flicker of hope.

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“My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to your Word.” ~Psalm 119:25

Squirrels, Girls, and the Gospel

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Savannah & Sissa“SAVANNAH, WHAT DID YOU DO?!” I was in shock. Sissa, the little baby squirrel that we had helped raise for the last few weeks was now laying in my hand, shaking violently and unable to stand up. Even after questioning my 4 year old daughter some more, it was apparent that Savannah was oblivious to how Sissa became injured. She claimed that they were “just playing together!”

Although this appeared to be an accident, inside my heart, I was boiling. I didn’t realize that I was so attached to our pet squirrel; however, my emotions now were revealing what this really meant to me. I could not believe that my cute little girl could do something so tragic, and worse yet, not even seem sad about it. My wife and I had told Savannah many times to be gentle with Sissa, and now here we stood, with an innocent baby squirrel struggling with an obvious spinal injury. Why hadn’t I trained my daughter to take better care of animals? Why wasn’t I more specific with how she should play with a baby squirrel? How could my own flesh and blood not show any remorse with what she had done?!

I knew what I had to do, and deep inside, I was furious. My wife and daughter went in the house, and I tried to get the courage to take care of Sissa and help him quickly get out of his misery. “I should make my daughter watch me do it,” I surprisingly thought to myself. “Why do I have to be the one to do the hard part?” It was then God spoke so clearly to me: “It’s not easy is it? Pouring your love into someone and then watching them make decisions with such devastating consequences – and then they don’t even see how much it hurts you.” My heart softened a bit and instantly I was convicted. How many times had I intentionally abused the gift graciously given to me from my Savior, and here I was angry at my daughter’s accidental carelessness?

This still wasn’t going to be easy. Burying Sissa’s lifeless body was very difficult, but even then, I was gently reminded that the heart of my little girl is much more valuable than many squirrels. Parenthood has provided many opportunities to observe what the Gospel really looks like, but going through this specific journey with Savannah has brought me to an even greater place of awe and thanksgiving for all that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice really means.

Is Jesus Christ Good Enough?

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How many of you take Jesus at His words? I don’t mean with just the promises and the sayings that make us feel good, but I mean the really hard words. Let’s look at Luke 9:57-62. A guy came up to Jesus and said something like, “I’m going to go wherever you go, Jesus.” And what did Jesus say? He bluntly told him to expect homelessness! Picture the next verse, where another guy wanted to go bury his father before he followed Jesus. Can you imagine Jesus telling you to not go to your mom or dad’s funeral?! But that’s what Jesus did say, and if we look closely at the words of Jesus throughout the entire four gospels, you’ll see that Jesus said extremely difficult things time and time again.

Now, although following Jesus hasn’t really put many of us into hard situations, this is reality for many around the world, especially in countries where they don’t have the freedom to become a Christian. Has living in a free country like Taiwan, America, or even Hong Kong made us not understand what the gospel is all about? I don’t really have a solid answer for that. But what I am chewing on is this: is Jesus Christ enough for me? I mean, if He did tell me point blank to become homeless (Luke 9:58), not go to my father’s funeral (vs. 60), and not even say goodbye to my family (vs. 62) and to just follow Him, would I, or could I do it?


Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting on Your touch
Open up the heavens
Shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love


We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won’t be satisfied at all


Open up the sky
Fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings
We want you
Open up the sky
Fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but you

(Deluge Worship, 2008)